A top 10 of the top 10

[ Tue. Jan. 8. 2008 ]

Today, let's turn things upside down.

10) Top 20 dictators of the world (Parade, links.sfgate.com/ZBZL).

It's like a reality show in hell, a rogue's gallery of the most heartless, insane, power-mad thugs and cretins (all male, natch) this side of Dick Cheney's darkest orgiastic fantasy. Even Vladimir Putin made the list, mostly for the weird beauty of his flat, heartless stare.

9) Top 10 vegetarian-friendly prisons (PETA, links.sfgate.com/ZBZM).

Attention, radical unshowered vegans who've lost all perspective and want to blow up Whole Foods and set fire to shops that sell leather! When they haul your cute, dreadlocked butt to prison, be sure to request one of these fine facilities, where you can serve out your time enjoying low-grade vegetarian gruel, like soy taco crunch in Tennessee and meatless sloppy joes in North Dakota. So helpful!

8) Top 10 food and drink hacks (Lifehacker, links.sfgate.com/ ZBZN).

In which it is revealed that vinegar is quite likely the greatest and most versatile liquid known to humankind, slicing a mango does not have to be a sloppy, sticky mess (unless you are naked and partially drunk and really want it to be), and you can learn how to chill a bottle of white wine in about two minutes, make sexier cocktails with clear ice cubes and use your old plastic CD spindle as a perfect little bagel tote. Didn't know any of that? You're not reading the right blog.

7) Top 10 science revelations (LiveScience, links.sfgate.com/ZBZQ).

Yes, the "peak oil" era is now under way, the American Southeast may very well be facing a brutal 90-year drought as the dry areas get drier and the wet get wetter, a region of ice in Greenland twice the size of the United States has melted, and the World Conservation Union's list of endangered animals now tops 40,000, with more than 200 moving closer to extinction in 2007. And the No. 1 spot, naturally, is climate change itself, now so overwhelmingly omnipresent and ominous, it would take a band of truly troglodytic jackals to deny, reject or otherwise sneer at what the world's scientific and environmental community is desperately trying to tell us.

6) Top 10 climate myth busters (Fox News, links.sfgate.com/ZBZR).

Shut-ins, inbred cultists and global warming deniers rejoice as Fox News' junk science "expert" and Big Tobacco boy toy Steven Milloy cherry-picks a handful of minor studies in an effort to mount the world's shakiest anti-warming argument, all while ignoring mountains of evidence, not the least of which is the recent, dire 3,000-page report from the 113-nation-strong Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change.

5) Top 10 Christianity-related stories of 2007 (Christianity Today, links.sfgate.com/ZBZS).

In which successful atheist authors get jabbed, Jerry Falwell is not acknowledged as Satan's newest fluffer, and hard-core religious orgs of every stripe celebrate and/or lash out at other religious orgs for either a) not being religious enough, b) not being bigoted enough, c) not hacking away at women's rights, d) not slamming gays or e) all of the above.

4) Top 10 new organisms (Wired, links.sfgate.com/ZBZT).

Hypoallergenic cats. Fluorescent tadpoles. Schizophrenic mice that exhibit Bush-grade hallucinations, paranoia and delusions of grandeur. Alas, no mention of whatever the hell mutant virus is attacking the American brain and causing millions to actually give a damn about how much blow Lindsay Lohan does or whether Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant. Maybe that's another list.

3) Top 10 astronomy photos of 2007 (Bad Astronomy, links.sfgate.com/ZBZU).

You know what we, as a nation, lack more than anything else in this bitter, Bush-gutted age? No, not more porn-happy YouTube-rip-off sites. It's awe - raw, delicious, mind-bending, awe.

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